Ahrimal stood before Belial, Lailah and Usiel. The Fiend had summoned the three angels to his Moon Palace. Worry weighed heavily on him; beneath his cloak woven of moonlight, his shoulders sagged. Belial was the first to speak, "Why have you brought us here?"
Ahrimal said, "I have seen a coming disaster, looming on the horizon. Something terrible... and inevitable. I have spoken with others of my House about it, and they do not seem concerned. I have brought you here, my brethren, so I may share my concerns with you, and so you may offer your council."
As Lailah spoke, concern ringed her normally melodic voice. "What is it, Ahrimal?"
At this, the Angel of the Sphere handed each of the angels a folder. Each of the Celestials read the reports therein in grim silence. Finally Belial whistled between his teeth. "Wow, I see why you are concerned. This does not look good."
Ahrimal paced nervously. "Indeed. As you see from the fiscal forecast, we are not only heading for a recession, but a full-blown crash. Profits were steady for the period before we created Mankind; while not growing, the economy was stable. However, since the creation of Mankind, we have yet to see a return on our investments. Without any fiscal responsibility, or even enough awareness of economics to understand their place in Creation's economic model, it is clear they are responsible for a decline in future profits for not only themselves... but for all of Creation." The full impact of Ahrimal's words stunned the other angels into silence.
"The question is," Usiel asked, "What do we do about this? If your managers and God are unconcerned about this inevitability, are not our own hands tied?"
Belial said, "Let us bring Adam and Eve in on our ventures. If we can make them active investors, I'm sure we will see an upswing in profits. If nothing else, we can at least get a return on our initial investments, and they will no longer be a drain on our resources. Diversification is the key, here."
Usiel: "God made if very clear we were to pursue a non-interventionist policy with Mankind. They are to never be made aware of the market which supports them. The general projection is that they will become aware of the market on their own, and then become active fiscal participants."
Ahrimal: "But we have been waiting on Adam and Eve to show some interest in finances for what seems like forever, now. But they do not even understand the principles involved! Profit is meaningless to them... their idea of an economic upswing is a greater number of fruit on the vine that day. And current forecasts indicate that they may never attain such awareness, and in any case, we cannot afford for them to come to that conclusion on their own. You see the analysis in front of you... the numbers don't lie."
Lailah: "But... we love mankind, don't we? Why should we care if they benefit us directly? Is it not enough just to love them, as God has bade us? Would He not know what is best for His Creation?"
The other angels stopped talking, and stared impatiently at Lailah until she looked down at her feet, quieted.
"Anyway," Usiel continued, "You realize what you are suggesting involves substantial risk. It's great to be bullish and talk sunny fiscal forecasts, but personally, I like working for God. I was created for that purpose. If I were to go against God's policy, it is not like the job market out there is overly welcoming. In fact, we are -- barring some sort of anti-monopoly edict in the near future -- the only gig in town. We risk a much more substantial loss by pursuing Mankind as investors, not only to us but them. We stand to lose all our investments and enter into the very crash you predict here."
As Belial argued with the Slayer, the palace filled with a great light. Lucifer Morningstar walked into the room, unwelcome and uninvited. Everyone began trembling, afraid God knew of their discussion. Lucifer says, "Be still, my fellow servants of the One and investors. I too am concerned. And I offer myself as the logical successor to God's too-conservative vision for Creation. We should take the reigns of power, I say, and stride boldly into a grand fiscal future we cannot even conceive of now! Follow me, and I will personally guarantee a hundredfold return on your investments -- more, even."
Belial, startled at the weight of Lucifer's statement: "Do you actually mean to..."
Lucifer: "Yes. We're going to unionize. Now, who's in?"

Lucifer and his investors, a third of the Stars of Heaven, descended upon Adam and Eve, who were puttering about in the Garden of Eden. They were afraid, and trembled before the majesty that was the angels, beings that they had never seen before.
Madisel, Archangel of the Unseen past, was first. "Eve, the fruit that is in your hand, it died for you, so that you may live. Death is my domain; only through it are you allowed to continue existing. While not subject to my influence, you profit from my actions. And for this, you owe me."
Then came the great Grifiel, Principality of Those That Hunt By Day. "I have spared you the claws and teeth of the beasts under my command. You devour the animals and plants that those of my House have created, and yet you give nothing in return. And animals and plants aren't cheap. Thus, you owe me."
Next to speak was Senivel, the Power of the Slender Streams. "You drink of my waters, which give you life, and bathe in them to refresh yourselves. You partake of utilities without paying for them. This will change, however, because you owe me, and I intend to collect. I have an itemized bill right here..."
While Senivel gathered and sorted her papers, the Pole-Star's Virtue descended in a shower of starlight. "I am Gar-Asok, and I will explain to you the concepts of past and future, so that you may invest and make profit. For this, I will require a consultant's fee."
A rumble issued from the ground at the feet of Adam and Eve. From the earth Togueil, the Ruby Dominion, sprouted, surrounded by rich veins of ores and gems. He held out a rock of pure gold to the awestruck mortals. "And of course, any economy needs money. That's where I come in. I'll explain the gold standard for the dollar, and the value of material objects. And for this you will owe me a portion of your future profits, as Gar-Asok will outline in his investment syllabus."
Suddenly the wind picked up, growing in intensity until Nazriel, Throne of Unbounded Benevolence, formed from it. "My House protects you. We give you air to breathe. We gave you the life in your bodies. So, pay up already."
As glorious as they were, the spectacle of all these angels was dwarfed by the apparition of Lucifer Lightbringer descended from Heaven, cloaked in fire and wreathed in what seemed to be all the light in Creation. He landed before the confused mortals, fearful and already wondering just how they were going to pay for all this. "I am Lucifer. I am management, and I will gain a percentage of these angels' earnings. So, you need not pay me directly... though technically, you do owe me for making Creation possible. However, if you choose to get in on the ground floor of our enterprise, you will not only earn enough to pay my Host what you owe, but also to turn a substantial profit for yourselves. Are you interested in investing?"
Adam and Eve, never having heard a sales pitch before or having the fiscal capability to weigh costs and benefits (or even grasp numbers past ten), nodded in unison.

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